Mother Didn't Know Best

As a parent, you have hopes and dreams for your child from the moment they take their first breath. The thing is, kids develop their own ideas for where their life is going. If you are lucky, the two will line up, or at least your child will want to do something that you can live with.


On the day my Diva in Training was born, I declared in my heart and mind that Doctor DivaGirl had entered the world. I knew the minute I laid eyes on her that she would do something great. My baby was going to discover something or cure something or define some new law of nature or something.


And then real life threw cold water all in my face.


When DIT was in the first grade, she came home in tears because she wanted to be Mary Kate AND Ashley Olsen, and one of her friends told her she couldn't because she wasn't twins. She was pissed at me because I didn't have two of her. (Now to me, this is a blessing, but to her at the time, it was a serious curse).


By the time she was nine, she came home after career day and declared that she was not interested in college and was going to be an actress. That's right- an actress. Now, she is the product of two geeks who believe that education and hard work will take you far in life, so it was hard for me to hear that my child wasn't interested in a "noble" profession. I mean, let's face it, showbiz is a biyatch. I didn't want my child to have any part of that.


So, as the dutiful parent, I began to explain to her how difficult life will be without a degree or two or three behind her name. How actors struggle for years and some never get beyond community theater or commercials. How she may end up waitressing while she waits for that big break. All to no avail. I even reminded her that my job is to get her to the age of 18, and that I was no longer fiscally responsible for her after that. The Bank of Mommy would be closed (unless she was in college, of course). No dice. She wasn't feeling it.


I may have left out one key piece of info- my kid is a documented gifted child. Don't get it twisted, it just means that if she's not interested in it, she says to hell with it. If she likes a subject, she immerses herself in it until the next more interesting thing comes along.


She auditioned for and got accepted into the middle school of the arts. I thought this would be a good thing. Except sixth grade was hell, and I thought I was going to have to kill her. Grades dropped, and puberty blew in like a hurricane in our house. It was not pretty. Yas can attest to the phone calls made to talk me off the ledge. The one saving grace during this time was her theater arts class. She loved it. And during the 6th grade plays I sat through, she was awesome. I saw a happy, confident child doing her thing.


I should not have been surprised. She learned her monologue for her audition for the school of the arts on the drive to the audition that Saturday morning. She had six weeks to learn it, and barely glanced at it, even with prodding from me. To this day, I still don't know how she learned it because I lectured all the way to the school about putting in the work to get what you want. Uh, she nailed the monologue, and a few weeks later she got notice that she was in. I was left wondering how she did that.


At the end of last year, DIT auditioned for musical theater (only open to rising 7th and 8th graders). She got in. The first six weeks of this school year, the kids in musical theater auditioned for various roles in the upcoming production of The Wiz (yes, I was shocked that this predominantly white school selected The Wiz as this year's musical. Last year it was Suessical). DIT practiced, practiced, practiced. I had never seen her put so much work into getting a part. That is not her style. She's a seat of her pants kind of girl. All the hard work paid off, and she got the role of Dorothy. It was a proud moment, to say the least.


As we get closer to the performance dates (March 5th-8th) I've been thinking about the journey that led to this. I could have taken a hard stance and tried to make DIT conform to my desires. To be honest, I went along with it because I thought she would grow out of it. She tires so easily of things, I thought this would be just another fad tossed by the wayside. Instead I encouraged her and watched her grow. I've watched her work hard to get the part, and in the last few weeks, I've watched her work her ass off to learn lines, songs, and dances. She drags home, exhausted from school all day, rehearsing for two and a half hours, and she still has to face homework and chores. And she does it all without complaint. Most importantly, she is happy.


No matter what happens from here on out, I couldn't be more proud. My child is willing to work for what she wants in life. And she is already following her passion. If she plays her cards right, she will live her life with few regrets doing what she loves. And that truly makes me happy.