Wednesday, May 28, 2008

The Best Mother I Know

This is a hard question for me to answer because I consider most of the mothers I know to be excellent in their roles. As a matter of fact, it seems like I can applaud the efforts of almost every maternal person I know. But after much deliberation, I realized that as a single mother, I spend so much time bemoaning my shortcomings, I never pat myself on the back.

So, today, I would like to honor me.

I am not the modern day equivalent of June Cleaver. I don’t have warm cookies and a tall glass of cold milk waiting on my daughter when she gets home from school. As a matter of fact, until a few weeks ago, I was seldom home before my daughter got out of school. It’s kind of a hard thing to do when you are working full-time outside of the home.

My house, on any given moment, may or may not pass for “clean”. It most certainly never passes a white glove test. I hate, hate, hate dusting. Thank God for paper plates, cups, and plastic silverware. I’m just saying.

Cooking is not my forte’. Whoever decided that it was a good idea to put a cafeteria in the grocery store is a freakin’ genius. Many a meal was saved by the already prepared rotisserie chicken from Publix. And since my mother is the best cook I know, and only lives about ten miles away, it is not unheard of for me to request a To Go box for me and Diva In Training that I swing by and pick up on my way home. Mom happily obliges because she still cooks like she has five kids in the house. And DIT and I want to keep her happy.

What I am good at is putting my daughter’s needs first. That means making sure that she has all that she needs and a smidgen of what she wants. (Let’s face it, kids want A LOT these days).

I am my child’s biggest cheerleader. At a very early age, my child decided that she wanted to be an actress. Theater is her thing. And she is great at it. As a bookworm, geek, egghead, whatever you want to call me, I’ve held a very dim view of acting as a profession. The roles for African American women are still slim to none. But that’s another blog for another day. And then I saw my daughter perform for the first time. I was blown away. It truly is her calling. I would be remiss as her mother if I didn’t encourage her to live out her dreams. Come what may, I don’t want her life to be one of dreams deferred when the right words and attitude from me might have made the difference.

With unconditional love, just like other moms, I worry, fuss, complain, bargain, discipline, threaten, cajole, protect, nurture, and guide my child.

But for me, the one thing I do best as a mom is marvel at the possibilities that lie ahead for DIT. She knows that there are no parameters on what she can achieve. ‘Cause her Mama told her so.

10 comments:

Niambi Brown Davis said...

Forget the dusting and the cooking - you didn't tell your DIT "but I want you to be a doctor, lawyer, fill in the blanks." For showing her that beyond the sky is the limit, kudos to you.

Anonymous said...

Great posting. Thank you for being a GREAT mom.
Deltareviewer

Yasmin said...

xoxo

Anonymous said...

For the last year and a half I have witnessed firsthand what effort it takes to be a single mom. What you have written about yourself doesn't do your efforts justice. I cannot imagine the courage it takes to decide to take your 2 year old and to raise her on your own. The strength to obtain a Masters Degree while raising that child. To give of yourself as you do, over and over, when many times you cannot clearly see just how good a job you are doing and have done. And what I write here doesn't do you justice either. But I can say that not only have I seen a great mom in action, I can see the efforts have paid off by watching DIT. Seeing how happy she is, singing in the shower, wanting for very little, loving her mom. If that isn't enough I will write what I have often said... I got a two for one deal when I got into this relationship and I am so lucky. That is proof in itself what a great mom you are, by raising such a great kid that I love.

Southern Diva said...

Thank you guys so much. This was a very soul-baring blog for me.

Jennifer C. said...

You are truly doing a great job as a mom. Nobody likes to dust.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for yur candidness and honesty. I'm with you on the plasticware. With a full-time job, homework, activities, etc. - who has time for dishes?

Sounds like you're a great mom.

Dera Williams said...

Kudos to you for giving yourself kudos. A child can't ask for anything more than to be loved and supported. Nice column.

'Cilla said...

IT takes a lot to be single MOM and cheering squad.. Congrats on all you have accomplished and those in the making

'cilla

Southern Diva said...

Thanks again for the positive vibes. Parenting ain't easy, but I can't wait to see how the adult DIT turns out. If the 13 yo version of herself is any indication, she will be a VERY interesting person to know. LOL